This really resonated with me.

“Let everything happen to you

Beauty and terror

Just keep going

No feeling is final”

― Rainer Maria Rilke

Warning: emo rant to follow!

I've become a firm believer that whatever happens to you if for a reason, and that the Universe has your best interests at heart. 

 

But sometimes I struggle to understand why it keeps denying me of the one thing I want most in life. The one thing I believe is my true calling and I know I would be so good at.

 

It gives me glimmers of hope that it's finally around the corner, then takes it away from me again. Every time a heartbreak and the feeling of being back to square one.

 

And sometimes I think I should just give up, but the calling is too strong and I just carry on trying, carry on hoping. But with each setback cannot help but feel my wish is getting further and further away, to the point that I almost can't imagine it every happening to me.

 

Throw me a frikkin bone here, Universe. 

2013

I stopped making New Year's Resolutions a few years ago when I realised they were always the same - eat healthier, exercise more blah blah blah.

This year, however, I thought I'd write down a few intentions I have for the new year so that I can look back and see how the year goes.

- I'd like to spoil George less, in order for her to be less needy and stress out less when she doesn't get her way. This includes teaching her not to sleep in the bed with us (waaaaah, this is SO HARD, as I love cuddling up to her in bed) and stop giving her tidbits of food whilst cooking or after dinner, so she stops begging for food.

- I'd like to save up as much money as I can in 2013, so that Andrew and I can look at buying our own place near Brighton in a few year's time. I know I can do it, but I'm constantly tempted by nice clothes or stuff for the house, and I am quite the impulsive shopper (thank you, internet).

- I've been working towards being more minimalist in the past few months and have managed to purge my house of bags and bags of unwanted/ unused items. I'd like to carry on in this fashion and cut down even more in 2013. I really struggle to do this in the wardrobe department, as I am unable to part with certain items of clothing. Yet when we were away for 3 weeks last month I managed to live by wearing the same 3 outfits on rotation. I think maybe instead of getting rid of more clothes I can just try to stop buying any more? Hmmm, this is a tough one. 

- I'd like to blog more. I nearly bought one of these today but then I thought about my minimalist intention above and decided that I could do this on this blog or in a paper diary rather than buying it.

 



I really miss keeping a diary - I've attempted to start writing again plenty of times but I don't know if it's being an adult or what, but my thoughts just aren't as diverse as they used to be. I guess that's what happens when you get up, go to work, get home, eat and go to bed. But I think that writing one line to sum up the day is a good way of keeping the thoughts flowing and a fun way to look back at the year. Let's give it a go!

Happy New Year :)